Porn industry seeks goverment bailout

By Jonathan Tamayo

Missing Call Letters

Move over Big Three, because the Smutty Two want in on some hot government bailout action. That’s right. The porn industry is now seeking federal money. 

Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis have drafted a letter to the newly inaugurated Congress asking for a $5 billion bailout.  

“The government is handing out money,” Francis tells E! News. “They’re moving toward a nationalized economy, and Larry and I felt we might as well be a part of it.”

The pair were quick to admit that “the $13 billion industry is in no fear of collapse, but why take chances?”

The porn moguls are asking for federal funds after the recent $700 billion bailout package, including about $17 billion for General Motors and Chrysler to stir up the nation’s economy.  

“Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses, (and) we feel we deserve the same consideration,” Francis said in a statement.

“In difficult economic times, Americans turn to entertainment for relief. More and more, the kind of entertainment they turn to is adult entertainment,” he continued.

Francis, recently imprisoned for a prostitution-related charge, cited industry figures showing adult DVD sales and rentals decreasing 22 per cent in 2008, due to a boost in online adult entertainment.  

“People are too depressed to be sexually active,” Flynt added in a statement. “This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex.”